Tuesday, July 8, 2008

New Book Idea

The mind is a fickle enemy when tempted. Time has changed many things, but in those areas which matter the most it has gained no ground. We are who we are and there is no changing that. One can put on a mask, an act, one can play the part, but the actor is always the same underneath. Many choose not to admit this, many only admit the facts in the darkest caverns of their hearts. Humans are weak and pathetic. Merely observe the faces you see in everyday life. The expressions of weakness are all around us. We cower in fear. We put down our fellow man and smile with disgusting satisfaction, and those that know it is wrong smile along so that they do not appear weak before those that have no remaining compassion. Interestingly enough I am no great victim. Although I have taken my fair share, I was never bullied. On more than one occasion I was the on the opposite end. So why do I fight this existence of constant human infliction. I will explain. We are but an infection in these capsules that god made us. Man is the parasites grown forth from the purity in his own image. I am not particularly religious either so don’t be frightened.

When I was young, maybe 5, give or take a couple years, my mind would commandeer my eyes and steer them wildly into unseen territories. It all started in my parents’ room. It probably began before I can remember but the fact of the matter is, it continued into my days of recognition. Whenever frightened I would run into my parents room and jump into bed, like many children my age. However, I never slept, not once. Although it seemed safer wedged between my parents and under the covers, it was in no way less frightening. My demons thrived here. The ceiling fan became a giant spider and its eyes locked with mine. I looked down only to find ghoulish creatures in the bathroom. Covering my face with my hands, I rolled up like some frightened insect or crustacean. I peeked through my fingers, a different ghoul now stood in the bathroom doorway. I blinked. This ghoul vanished but another appeared at the edge of the bed.

Over time I came to realize that these monsters could never touch me. They were limited by their own falsity. Despite understanding the boundaries of their presence, they continued to grip my own existence with fear. Lying in my parents’ queen size bed, I watched for hours as the monsters cycled positions. First in the bathroom, then the doorway, and finally at the side of the bed, a different monster for every location, appearing in order, and one at a time.

In a year or two I was no longer frightened by them, and

I was wrong. Man exists to better himself. Man thrives to pursue metaphysical riches greater than those handed and dealt to him. I disgust me. Time is not an agent; time is the ground on which we walk. Man lays down the roads, man builds the cities, and we make the decisions on where to go next.

I am the branch caught in winter. All along, I was the corroded lens. Demon still whisper in my ears, and I listen. For often demons are ensnared within disguise and seek only a liberator to free them of dark’s burden. These eyes may see more than the world offers, but they are not broken. I cannot see in the dark, but there is no dark in this world, only planes of shade through which our own colors bleed.

More Ideas for intro Of prison book

Cold afternoons rarely produce pleasant evenings. Today would be no exception. The wind howled, passing over open windows like whistles. As the heavens screamed, angry at man for constructing such heretical edifices, that inevitably would fall by natures hand, I lay motionless on my back.

I would introduce myself, but to the best of my knowledge my only designation is, that which has fallen. From an open window

“What value does a name carry? I never imagined not possessing one could cause so much agony. I guess names do have value, a certain human qualification is having a name. We project this necessity upon pets and animals, but do they know any of its significance. Or do dogs merely respond to the sound that they have become accustomed to meaning, “you”. Names have intrinsic human value.

On the other hand titles carry very little meaning. They are designed to categories us into sections of distinction. One human is better than the other human being. Sir, Lord, and Dr., all pronouns meaning that creature there is more distinguished than you.

Don’t you agree doctor?”

The calm doctor took no offense but was slightly unsettled by this indirect attack on his qualifications, “I see your point about knight ship and nobility, but why categories doctors in as well. M.D.’s go to years of school so that they may gain a knowledge and expertise to deal with matters that others cannot.”

“Maybe it’s the drugs talking, I can’t do any more today can I please rest”

Would you die to prove your innocence, or spend a life time in cold isolation locked away. Would you exist in a continuous loop .?

Futuristic Prison Book (Rough)

reboot, warm up, and begin again, humans and machines aren’t so different after all.

Blood tastes metallic. The beheaded blades that pricked my ears, produced a dry bitter addition to the stew that know sat idly in the back of my throat. If only I could move, I would sit up and spit this vile concoction out.

The room was bare, stone walls on ever side, as if it was cut directly from the innards of a mountain. It was understandable. The walls were pain, the floor was pain, the guards’ shoes were pain, this chair was pain. And so I sat there, helplessly as they prepared me for what I could only describe as an excruciating journey to an equally as unfamiliar place. Two guards on either side secured me to the chair and then secured the chair to the floor. The man dressed as a doctor returned, and just as he had the last time, put on the protective suit without uttering a word to anyone in attendance. They respected him, I could tell. But they did not respect his skill, his trade or the man under the scrubs. The respected and feared the power he wielded, as humans respect the devil enough to avoid him. The first time I had not understood this submersing fear that entrenched all of those subordinates present. The man, now fully clothed in armor, quickly remedied my misunderstanding with a simple push of a button on our last encounter.

As soon as the doctor pressed whatever button sat boldly protruding from the panel in front of him a vacuumed sucked me into a long causeway to hell. Within seconds the body began convulsing; it seemed only natural with such unnatural acts being attempted.

My brain became another lowly prison guard, fearful of the chemicals this man had at his disposal. For now I preferred not to think about it. It would happen soon enough and maybe with a little luck it would be a sunny day out this time. Perhaps there was something to look forward to, a shimmer of sunlight through the iron maidens eyes.

I If only it were possible to return to such a time when fates .

I felt my eyes sink further and further. My head jerked back involuntarily, as the waves of increasing pain began. I had only been subject to it once before. I knew very little about the process, but knowledge was unneeded to know that it was wrong to subject human beings to such treatment. Even murderers deserved better. Truly they are savages and I am sure that the worst is less than they deserved, but this process was not fit for this world.

March of The Forgotten Astray (Rough Draft)

March of the forgotten astray

Society Leads us astray and then forgets us. We follow the merry tune, to our merry fates. We squander our lives away with the struggles of men who have long since turned to dust, and we ourselves fall victim to the tides of their toil. It is not that human beings are false, or fake. Instead the real issue is that our environment breads personalities in which fallacy is the substantiated aspect of ones existence. The act has become the only role the actor can play. We are all but characters in life’s play, unfortunately our roles are all the same and we are no good at our own parts.

The engine puttered away. The gentle hum slowly faded, but when it began to idly stop, it would gently roar back to full and begin the relaxing decline over again. Little clings and clangs came from within the car that made (Him) nervous about the engines health.

He passed the time staring at the clock and inching forward every other minute. Traffic wasn’t so bad, it gave him a chance to let his mind explore foreign vibrations. Just as the car engine had, he found himself idling in the silence of his skull and then roaring forward into expanses not yet explored or left fallow for longer than needed. Like a tree he branched from topic to topic, scenario to scenario. He played out inevitable conversations to come at the awaiting reception. He remembered past romances and those that could barely be called romances. Eventually he exhausted the apparent hypothtical circumstances and came to realizing that he was still not very close to the venue. Like mice stuck in a maze, his eyes meandered at varying speed up and down the long street, flickering along the avenue. Pausing shortly to examine seemingly interesting details, they scanned the far side walk, and then across the causeway and eventually came slowly to a rest upon a fascinating occurrence.

To the right of his car, which sat rumbling in stillness just one lane from the right, upon the side walk was a stream of people. Traveling solitarily, and sometimes in groups of twos, but rarely in three or more was a never-ending cascade of people. As far down the street as he could see, the sidewalk had scattered upon it this loosely knit line of middle aged persons. On a busy street this may seem normal, however this was a relatively quiet road for pedestrians, normally reserved to the snail cars during rush hour, and roughly an empty street by night. However there were no attractions or stores that could possible muster enough popularity to draw such a crowd at this hour.

There was no way these people were shoppers, they looked on the verge of depression, holding back whatever emotions they had from physical manifestation. Some of them walked calmly, though intently and cautiously. Others walked rigidly with their hand awkwardly astray, hands far removed from their sides or pockets.

(Blank) was curious. As such of life’s anomalies often perplexed him, they rarely went unexplained. A polite honk from the car behind him indicated that whatever had been blocking traffic had been mended and now the boulevard was once again alive.

His luke warm motor revived as well with a touch of the pedal and off he went, his mind still hung in the air behind, staring at those who walk toward nothing, who came from nowhere, who travel in small groups if not alone, and walk nervously void of emotion.

Arriving at the baptism reception, (blanks) thoughts darted constantly back to his wanderers and their elusive purpose. He decided he needed help, which was a brash step for he was used to figuring everything out on his own. He approached Marilynn Westbrook, who to his knowledge lived very close to Saltair street.

“Excuse me”

Marilynn was engrossed with her current discussion. Although (blank) could not clearly make out all the words clearly, he decided to be polite and wait for her to finish. Marilynn raved on,

“don’t you see it’s not about the shoes, it’s the sock” muttering the last bit softly and in the reverend’s ear as if to tell a mind numbing secret. “the shoe can only do so much, the sock is the culprit for back pain. One need proper cushioning when selecting a sock”

(Blank) had heard about enough and couldn’t possible allow this to continue. He glanced at the reverend who he expected asleep, but was in fact wide awake and appearing fairly interested in the dynamics of sock to shoe responsibly.

“Excuse me” he utter slightly louder this time.

“Well hello (blank) I didn’t see you at the reception, where have you been?”

“You know traffic in the city”

“Aw yes of course, what can I do for you”

“I was wondering if you could solve a mystery which has been puzzling me for some time now”

“Yes, of course, I’ll try, what is it”

“Today around sevenish while I was on my way here, sitting in traffic, I noticed a long trail of people funneling toward something near saltair street”

“Oh well that’s the double A meetings”

“Double A?”

“You know, Alcoholics Anonymous”

“Oh”

“Yes they all have a large meeting about twice a month, poor souls”

“How do you mean, aren’t they relatively cured and on the right track now that they are in the program?”

“Well yes, but they’ve been so unfortunate in the path of life, they’ve all made such terrible choices to end up there”

Brain Vomit 2 (With Bits of potential stories and story ideas)

i regret not. but for my life i regret all, and in my spite i regret every moment from emergence till death and only to death do i yield my pitiful stubborn grip.

an individual who isolates himself from humanity and searches for a fleeting meaning in any action. he is cynical bitter and mildly suicidal. very smart. neurotic. over analyzes. yet is a hypocrit in many senses, and over time realizes the hypocrisy of his ways. either change who he is or change his views..both paths are comprimising and both are tough

when you find yourself at a crosroads between your self image and the reality of that self, rarely does much joy surface. such ocassions, such disasters are a flaw in which human inteligence implores into the absurdities of human nature. this is where i stand..this is where we are as sentient creatures. i(we) can either remain still steadfast to a belief that i(we) know cannot ligically be right, i can alter myslef to make my beliefs feasible, or i can alter my beliefs to make my actions congruent with my current set of beliefs. what would you do , what am i going to do.what are you going to do? dont anwser because you have only

Life will be more worthwhile

When god stops this neglect of us

When he begins to respect us

The rain of doubt

Soaks those who have taken of the raincoat of faith

How moist is the air today

Let It wash you away

Find happiness in the fray

Object: Explore the hypocrisy of life’s logic. Crush it? Reform it? Leave it? Join it?

Tools: Life is path from point A to B, no-one escapes death (possibly character who believes he can), Life is brutally blunt, but that doesn’t mean it is void of beauty and purity, people are not to be trusted, but often shine in the darkest moments, life is balanced, even when that is bad, people are not defined by our definitions of personalities, people are unique and therefore this world is uncertain,

I found my heart in a horrible place. Escape was not an option. Then it stopped, and I awoke. I had not been sleeping, I had been living. I ceased to exist in the real world, and now I hover in this void of life’s pulse where I can spend my eternity explaining what I learned in between the days.

There is no light here; I cannot see my hands in front of my face, if I indeed have hands still. Perhaps I am just a wisp, floating who knows where. Nevertheless I feel a story must be told.

Imagine me as a whisper in your ear. Even when you do not hear me quietly uttering pieces of the life I am about re-create, I assure you I am with you wherever you go. Scaring you is not my intention, rather I prefer you to bury my existence deep within you, so that you do not forget that somewhere in this vacuum called the universe something or someone struggles for a purpose.

The fear is in me. If perchance you do not return with me to what I think was once my life, I fear I will lose hold of my current accommodations in limbo, and never again be able to narrate this tale which will undoubtedly explore not only who I was, but also penetrate who you think you are.

I am in no way angry about the way I died, or spiteful against anyone or thing for what was done onto me, but to understand why we have to go to the beginning not the end.

First , to allow you to be prepared for what I am about to expose to you, please for my sake answer the following. Who do you think you are? Out of all the sperm your father had, why you? What is your purpose? Where are you?

Now, I know that you probably didn’t answer me out loud, but to ensure that by the end of the story you are honest with yourself, please say out loud the answers to the following questions:

What is a one word description of yourself?

What is a one word definition of your purpose on earth?

The following are examples:

Money, Reproduction, Love (No doubt very corny), Self-Betterment and so on

What is your biggest pet peeve about human nature?

Now let me tell you about myself. Forgery is my only virtue. Genuine does not define me a honesty does not become me. Legions of armies would have had may die and many generationspass before I would be able to find meaning in existence. After 18 years of my life I found myself at a junction, at which I felt I was mature enough to assess my situation. I concluded that in that setting at which I persisted momentarily, I hated a distinction of which I could not be separated from, humanity. It disgusts me. Human nature seemed a bitter taste in my mouth. My views were no doubt cynical, but not at all unwarranted. Oh, what a fool I was, what a fool you are, and I can say that quite confidently having never met you. How does that make you feel? Maybe it will tell you something about yourself. What little we know about ourselves, its almost absurd to consider the things that we accomplish and yet remain ignorant of what we truly are.

Brain Vomit

forgery is my only virtue. genuine does not define me a honesty does not become me. legions may die before i understand myself, and generations may pass before existance gains purpose in these colored globes. i have found myself at a junction in this setting at which i hate a distinction of which i cannot be seperated. humanity disgusts me. human nature its seems is a bitter taste in my mouth

often niether anwser is correct instead a combination of the two can find the closest result to reality,... perhaps the same applies to humankind... personalities cannot be set in black and white.... a gray personality as bland as that sounds is what everybody essential is simplified to

i see no light and for that i feel no worry. rather the tunnel scares me... to arrive at such an end may be enevitable but to struggle an toil against an outcome often yields voilent turns and twists which only make the futility of our plight more painful. the suffering it seems does not come in the judgment but instead in the sentencing that our secular attorneys argue with endlessly. to sink quietly into the night however seems as unwanted an option as that previously explored. we are doom d in our own respects to walk the path we laid for oursleves years ago when we were young and now fittingly to fall victim to a romantic death and gain first hand knowledge of a subject which we have always pondered. is there a god, an afterlife, a judgement of souls,? wait and see, we all have front row seats to our own unraveling. you have stumbled upon a story. a story which in essence is merely a culmination of many stories. no the plot does not have many paths that join to create closure and conclusiveness in one final jooining, in fact it is quiet linear. instead i suggest that any written work or oral telling is a creation by an entity, an entity which has drawn every bit of fact and detail of that creation from other stories and facts that it acumulated over its own timeline. we are but the branching tree whose trunk is flailing in the sky. but then again their is no end to the universal tale so all trunks must connect in some way. can you tell im rambling. midnight ideas: when the brain is filling everything learned into storage. as those glipses race into file cabinets i spit pieces onto paper.

in reality its almost 6 am on may 25 2008and i cant sleep

sometimes when i cant sleep my mind does more than race.. it litterally plays out every scenario that my life could arrive at.... in one such scenario i played highschool football my sophmore year and became paralyzed during a game, i then use my handicap to my advantage to live a relatively normal life. just example of the places id go...dreams and fantasies never really stuck to their designated realms within me... i didnt mind but i could tell others did...it often caused

me to lose friends and not make new ones... a little to strange for some i guess.... i had this theory once that all smart people were strange. bcause they overthought things, and that all great attists were wierd because inspiration came from their smart side and they had to let loose that nonsensical genious to truly gain ground breaking invention in their fields...i often noticed that this overthinking drove alot of artists insane, dali and his fascination with flacid male parts was due to his belief that he was disfuntional in those realms when most say it was all in his head... davinchi,...

my mother passed away in her sleep , my father dies of a heart attack, my sister was murdered and my brother broke his neck skiing, in reality they are all alive but sometimes i think i would be more interesting if i had more close encounters with death....i dont know if i can sympathize with those who have lost love ones because escaping is not the worst outcome' at least you don’t have to see it all come crashing down. i don’t fear death but i do not welcome it. my only apprehension about the endless sleep is the sadness it will bring those who cared about me. Suffering is pointless and pain is an extremity of suffering' regardless despite the existence or lack of existence an afterlife, one should celebrate the completion of ones time on earth like a retirement. living is a job, just hope you enjoyed working here for your life.

Untitled Poem

dreams carried me away from home

with my eyes closed i roamed

80 years i did search

and then when death began to lurch

i open my eyes but was not scared

death was just doorway, and i was just unprepared

a doorway into to nothingness may be more than you think

nothingness gives us time, but also takes us to the brink

i stood on a cliff till i was done

and then realized i missed all the fun

under my precipice was the ocean and the sun

to bad i spent my life on the run

One of my favorite lines I wrote

rest found me at last. there was no time to weep

god saw i was tired and put me to sleep

my eyes closed

Henry Ulrich's unholy reality (Ideas)

My goal in with this is to create a cruel world, where perceptions are almost always false. People are not defined by their appearance no more than they are defined by the car they drive

Some one dies in every chapter but the first. Henry starts noticing people and materials and this moves to more noticing people and becomes better reading them… is disgusted with humanity for all the wrong reasons Anthony explains….anthony dies. Man in celica tries to comit forgery and kills someone in collision, fat man works on cure for arthritis.

"Forgery is my only proficiency. Genuine does not describe me, as authenticity does not become me."




“We become what we may, and we may become what we are”, rambled Henry. Wearing a white T shirt over a blue long sleeve shirt, Henry Ulrich was on his hands and knees with his head between his shoulders. When he lifted his head to look around the room it appeared as if he had been crying and his eyes were still iridescent and glass like, reflecting the light produced by lamp in the corner of the room. He in fact had cried only a few minutes ago, although only for a brief stint. The room was foggy, and although one could see easily across the room, it was effortlessly noticeable that a haze hovered in the air, giving everything a pastel appearance and dimming the colors in the room if only slightly. Approximately 15 minutes prior to when we first met Henry Ulrich he had inhaled the smoke from a hallucinogenic plant called salvia. A glass pipe lay, still smoking on the floor next to him. Henry gathered himself and rose to his feet, the hallucinations were almost completely gone now and he dried his eyes with his sleeves. His friend Anthony was in the room, and was chuckling sarcastically, pulling the cigarette out of his mouth, after witnessing the quite embarrassing incident. Henry was not amused but managed to display a stubborn smile.

Anthony knew Henry well enough to know that it bothered him so he quieted himself. Although, he was neither book smart, nor very gifted in difficult or awkward situations, Anthony was surprisingly well train in the area of reading people. His trick was very simple and almost never failed him. Anthony would merely disregard a person’s actions, gestures and pay very close attention to his target’s eyes. He was very proud of his talent and would brag about it. Almost everybody around him already knew not to lie or be emotionally insincere around him. So Anthony made his talent well known, and explained it as if he were medically certified to do so. He would say that the eyes are connected directly to the brain, and although they can put on the same fake attitude as the rest of the body they are the first to return to the true expression of reality. He went on to say that only the greatest actors could maintain this facade for more than a flashing instant and that almost all normal people were incredibly obvious when they were trying to be deceptive. Despite his amazing ability and very high success rate, Anthony’s reasoning was not feasible, successful in replications by others nor accepted by any of those he told it to.

Henry returned from the bathroom, after washing his face and hands.

“Man, for a plant that is a gnarly fucking trip”, Henry stated slowly regaining his usual slightly arrogant posture.

“So did you like it?”

“Hell no”

“Then why do it?”

“Experience, I don’t know. To be able to say I did that thing”

“My dad dragged me to the statue of liberty and made me wait 4 hours in line to look out the itty bitty window at the top of it so he could say that we did that. Do you want to be like my father?”

“Common man, you can’t boil this down to that, this is interesting. Exploring the capabilities of the human brain?”

“At the same time destroying a piece of it”

“If you did it you would know. What about your cigarettes?”

“What about them”

“Those kill your lung, slowly but surely.”

“True, but I rather die of lung cancer with a fully functional brain than be able to breathe without the ability to think like I once could.”

“Screw it, you’ll never understand”, Henry was through with the conversation. To himself, Henry wondered if he had won the conversation, or if he had lost. He then spent a few seconds evaluating whether Anthony considered himself the victor. After a few moments of silence in the room, Anthony stood up from the couch, breaking the void, “Enough of this stuffy room, let’s get some lunch.”

The two walked out the door, and stumbled lethargically down the stairs of Henry’s apartment.

Despite both of them considering the other his best friend, Anthony and Henry constantly argued. Sometimes it was about Henry’s drug use, other times it regarded Anthony’s cigarettes or his disregard for school work. Often the two would not be able to resolve the conflict verbally and would break the gridlock with physical battles. By the time the two would halt the wrestling neither one would remember or care what they were originally fighting about.

Henry unlocked his car and the two got in simultaneously. Henry turn on some music, which was much louder than Anthony preferred, but he said nothing because the car ride would not last longer than 15 minutes. Henry pulled out of the lot, and sped away.

Two blocks away and elderly woman was being robbed. A tall man I a ski mask ran by her and grabbed her purse. Valiantly the old lady held onto the purse strap, even as the man pulled her off her feet. She tried to let go but her hand was now entangled in the nylon straps and fake leather or the bag itself, which only tighten with her struggle. The man dragged her along the street and into an alley. Concrete and loose dirt took layers of skin as they passed and two red lines began to form in her wake. Her legs were being worn down to the bone. Only seconds had passed, realizing the foolishness of her actions, the elderly woman began to slowly release her grip and relinquish her purse to the concealed gentlemen. Through the roar of screams in her head she thought, “For a stupid purse?”. She finally untangled her arm, but she had already come to a stop stop prior to releasing the vice of rough fabric. The man had dragged her deep into an alley and now stood facing her. As she lay bleeding on the ground, still disoriented, and scared. The man raised a gun from behind his back, pointed it at the back of the woman’s skull and released a projectile of silver metal that passed through her head, killing her instantly.

The man removed his ski mask, and searched the purse for anything of value. He found forty-six dollars which he pocketed, a pair of combs and 3 credit cards which were worthless to him. He left the credit cards and the purse with the still bleeding corpse.

She died because in life’s commotion she overestimated the value of what was in her hands. She died for 46 dollars and a pair of combs, 4 piece of paper and two piece of plastic. Emily Warrick was born April 13, 1935 and died November 2, 2008 (World War II, The Gulf War, The Korean War, The Iraq War)

Henry turned sharply onto the freeway onramp, and blasted his engine until he was going around 85 miles an hour, and was passing almost everyone around him.

Anthony leaned his head back in his chair and began a deep sigh of relaxation, until his body was thrust forward against his seat belt with the force of the car coming to a complete stop in only a few seconds. Anthony parted his hair which now hung in front of his eyes and took in the hundreds of cars which now separated him from his lunch. He leaned back once again to continue his sigh, only this time it had gained a bitter sound, “Traffic”, he sighed.

Disappointed as well, Henry didn’t have the luxury of relaxing in his chair. Inching the car forward every so often required even more attention than his usual high speed weaving. Nevertheless, Henry found his eyes wandering from car to car, observing the drivers in each window. One man looked so sad he nearly mad Henry cry. It wasn’t necessarily his facial expressions, nor did he look that depressed. It was a culmination of everything that Henry had learned about this man in his 3 seconds of viewing him. He was driving a 1983 Honda Celica, a car Henry estimated to be worth roughly 100 dollars. The interior of the car looked like a war zone , and the trunk was held down by several extension cords tied in crude knots. The man sat in his chair, which was protruding stuffing in several places, with slumped shoulders. His eyes slowly jumped from the horizon dead ahead to the corners of his dashboard, as if he was deceiving even himself that there was something he was looking for. His head rested upon his neck as if he was too tired to exert any energy to lift it and his arms hung at his sides. Drooping almost to his lap and then back up to the steering wheel, his arms created two U shapes, where one finger on each hand was stretched as far back as it could go keeping his hands connected to the wheel and holding them from falling to his knees.

In the car directly behind him was a rather obese man, who drove a 1996 Chrysler sea bring, a gross long white convertible number, whose style should have been scraped at the drawing board. Amazingly the car had sold well in the 90’s, and just as remarkably the man had squeezed into the front seat. Henry watched the man in the white car for a few seconds before returning his gaze forward upon the snails ahead of him in traffic. In that short time the obese man had picked up a fast food item and began to eat it. Disgustingly, he only appeared to get about half of the item into his mouth, with the rest dripping down his cheeks or on his t-shirt, which Henry now noticed had several other noticeable stains.

Henry shook his head back and forth flapping his lips as he rattled this disgusting image from his mind. A gentle snore came from Anthony’s side of the car, and Henry looked over at him to see his friend completely asleep in his car. Henry Turned down the music and continued the snails march.

On his mental screen, Henry tried to erase the images of the two separate men lay burnt and scalding in his mind. One made him feel depressed and the other disgusted. Anthony smiled from the passenger seat, and mumbled inaudibly.

Car Accident

Chapter 3

Henry was very intelligent. Often, he would suggest that his life would be much simpler if in fact he had been less mentally gifted. His mind constantly raced, and often he found himself thinking abstractly for hours. Meandering from time, to place, from thought to idea and back again, Henry could never really control his renegade creativity and quickness of thought. I

For example, if one of Henry’s friends were to mention that they biked back from class, an assortment of memories would rush into Henry’s mind. The first time he rode a bike, the day his brother bought a road bike, the time he got lost when he went riding with him, but it didn’t stop there. Each memory would branch out on its own creating new openings and more ideas would come roaring into the newly open space. Within a fraction of a second, Henry would be considering what color the frosting on his wedding cake should be, despite his lack of even a steady girlfriend.

Henry never really told anyone about his rouge mind, and it never really seemed to get in the way once he learned to control it. When he was little, many children though he was strange because he would blurt out random phrases, like “monkeys gone mad and little red riding hood got spanked”; phrases even he didn’t understand. Some children were amused by the absurdity, and other thought it strange and avoided Henry. Henry was also a very gifted writer, and when boredom gave way to creativity, he often kept a journal that documented the wanderings of psyche. He titled it “Electricity”, so that no one would know what it was.

The first entry opened,

“Dreams and fantasies never really stuck to their designated realms within me. I didn’t never had the luxury of confining my thought within the boundaries of a situation. I had this theory once that intelligence nourished outcasts, because society was flawed and only the most intelligent people saw this. They over thought things, and many artists gained inspiration that nonsensical genius that had to be released to truly gain ground breaking invention in their fields.

November 3, 2008

I couldn’t sleep last night, my thoughts twisted and turned and neither I nor any logical being sat in the driver’s seat. I wasn’t that I couldn’t understand the progression of my thoughts, instead I could not control nor halt that progression in any way. In my adventure, if it can be called that, I found myself at a crossroads in my life which was quite real and although trivial had existed in reality in my life. I was 15 and was finishing my freshman year in high school. The pivotal decision was whether or not I was going to continue my high school football career. I was a quarterback, a pretty good one, but had been fairly injury prone the entire season. My mind danced along all the possible outcomes of reversing my real life decision to stop playing. I remember one such scenario specifically because it seemed so outrageous looking back, although at the time it seem a very viable outcome to an alternate course of events. In this false timeline, I had become handicapped from a football injury the following year. The story unfolded, as I overcame depression, wrote a book and managed to live a normal life as a wealthy paraplegic.

Meaning (Poem)

Today is not your day. Nor his nor hers nor mine

What lays beyond the sunrise, light will soon unwind

We have but the passing hours, a bowl of space and time

To look each other in the eye whether our stares be cruel or kind

And in your weary lids I, beauty there I find

We are but one of a kind

Trapped in eternities rhyme

Today belongs to her, can you hear her celebratory cheer

With each passing day, passes a week, a month, a year

Old and almost through, we hold on to the last of what still remains

Before she controlled most, now she controls the reigns

She steers us out, out and far away

We turn to look, and see another day

She rides us further now, light is bleak

Glimpsing back I see a week

A year, a decade, my whole life

Appears in our trails, our unholy strife

We stop and she disappears

I take my time and revert the tears

What was it that I did with my journey?

The trail behind seems so dreary

I wasted the trail thinking about the waterfall

And now standing upon it a millennia tall

I realize the trail way down below

Was greater than this goal

She reappears and takes me back

She had shown me what I truly lack

And now I live my years in bliss

Not wondering where the days went, but asking what should I do on a day like this

Trying to figure out an intro to a new story

These flaccid lids tense and receded along the subtle glassy surface as my eyes opened.

as the skin covering them wrinkles on its own accord. Light became a blur and that blur surrounded me as it cleared into shapes a colors.

i awoke in a dream. dreams, what frivolous things they are. the only time in which we can exist within ourselves and explore our minds sometimes outside of our control and sometimes upon our own terms

We spend our live in search. From one object to the next, maintaining key points of focus, that motivate us in every action. Some points are consistent and linger longer than others; family, love, friendship, basically the immaterial locus that fall into this category. Others fade faster; a job, a promotion, and so on.